Ghosting

 

I saw Jay Shetty's video on ghosting some time ago ... It was so true. In our age of digital media, social media... we get attached so easily online... and it is also so easy to disappear online.  

There are many reasons why people use other people... like Jay described... they are lonely and wanted someone to chat with... I felt that video described my whole encounter with this person. He was online because he worked long hours and by the time he got home, it would be really late. He was lonely, as his relationship of five years was gone when the girl left him and married someone else. He was having many real life problems and that's how he ended up online trying to pass his time. 

I don't know how or why I met him and got so attached to him... Maybe he was a really good player, maybe I was lonely too and didn't realise it... He became part of my life and it felt so real... I wouldn't even dare to call it relationship now as it now seems that he was just playing with my feelings... He was only in love with himself, his problems, his ex and even his high school sweetheart. 

The times he called me and we talked for hours was because he was lonely and missing the times he had with his ex... when he got home there would be someone there to talk to him... and then we listened to music together, Goo goo dolls... I thought it was something special between us... but in reality, he was just reliving his happy times when he was back in high school with his classmate. They used to listen to the songs together, walking home and watching sunsets in the park. 

Yeah, I know... how could I have ended up in such a situation... I don't know. Maybe I cared too much for people who I meet online... I'm just really upset that I was used just for his entertainment and then dumped when I was no longer of use. I never was once his priority. He never cared about me, his number one is himself, his mum, his friends. He recently deleted his Discord and Disqus account... I tried to send him some text messages on Skype but he never replied. I deleted those messages feeling embarrassed with myself. 

So I got ghosted. Watching Jay's video, it was comforting to know that many out there have also been in the same situation... It is clear that guy was only using me to fill in his lonely time, to fill in the gap... and he dropped me like it didn't even matter at all. I have been like a wreck since it happened. I can't tell you how much pain I felt inside... crying and wondering if it was really all my fault.... or that I'm such a horrible creature that nobody wants me... 

I hope you guys wouldn't be caught up in this kind of situation ever.